The Discomfort in Depression
DEPRESSION…It’s intimidating and scary, it evokes avoided emotions, and
the word is cloaked in shame. In a data
summary, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (Pratt &
Brody, 2014) reported that between 2009-2012, 7.6% of Americans age 12 and
older met the criteria for various forms of depression. Depression is most prevalent among females
and people ranging from middle age to elderly.
In 1998, 20% of adolescents were diagnosed with major depression (Rohde,
Stice & Gau, 2012). However, given the
rise in use of social media and bullying, I can’t help but wonder if the
statistics for adolescents with diagnosable depression has spiked in the past
few years. “Nearly 90% of persons with
severe depressive symptoms reported difficulty with work, home, or social
activities related to their symptoms” (Pratt & Brody, 2014). So, why aren’t more people talking about this
mental illness and its impact on society in its entirety? There’s a wealth of information on depression
floating across the Internet, in books, and in research articles. This piece on depression is intended to offer
basic information on depression and promote more open communication about the
disease.
Fleeing the Discomfort
Have you ever said to anyone, “I feel depressed”? Freely answer this question! What were the responses that others gave you? How did you feel after saying the
statement? Using the statement “I feel
depressed” has become second nature in our society. We say things like “this is depressing”, when
we really mean that something generates a feeling of sadness in us. Generally, we overuse the word depression
and it’s not synonymous for sadness. Depression is much more profound than sadness. I haven’t said it
often but the time that I did say it, oh buddy!
It was like my emotions had declared war on me. My well-self fired the first missile at my
fragile-self. There was a sense of inner
hostility for admitting my experiences. As a result of a significant loss, the winter
season, and isolation, I was very vulnerable to depressive symptoms. I’ve had people tell me that I’m an open
book. I don’t know how true that is but
I do know that there is something cathartic in being vulnerable and seeking help. Let’s be honest; sometimes, we hope others
don’t talk to us about their depression.
In our society, wellness is more about portrayal and less about what’s
actually happening internally. Most
people hope to never experience depression and they pray for those living with it. Depression is real and alive! Unfortunately, it’s not like annoying
solicitors that approach our doors without invitation; it won’t go away if we
ignore it.
The Depth of Depression
Emotion evoking issues and conversations about depression are most
likely to be avoided. People typically
respond the same to unfamiliar emotions. They don’t respond! Matters that force us beyond our comfort
levels tend to promote self preservation and we are wired to disconnect. So, what is depression? How is it distinguished from sadness? Depression is an illness with prolonged
symptoms of profound sadness, hopelessness, shame, and disinterest in general life
activities. It influences the emotional,
mental, physical, and spiritual wellness of people suffering from the illness. See chart below for more concrete examples of how persons may be affected by depression. It is an intense emotional disturbance that
has the ability to affect daily living, relationships, and may present somatic
symptoms. Somatic symptoms are also known as physical ailments such as aches and pains. Depression varies in type to
include the following: major depression,
persistent depressive disorder, postpartum depression, seasonal affective
disorder, situational depression, atypical depression, premenstrual dysphoric
disorder, bipolar disorder, and psychotic depression.
Depression differs from sadness, in that symptoms must be present for
two weeks or longer and there is noticeable change in daily functioning. Additionally, depressive symptoms may not be
the result of substance abuse, a medical condition, or bereavement. Depression is accompanied by sadness; sadness
is a normal emotion. Sometimes we call
it the “blues” but it’s not a continuous experience.
How to Help Without Killing the Relationship
This is the part where things get difficult. Learning how to support someone with depression
can be challenging! From personal
experience, there will be times when you want to embrace the person in your
life living with depression and times when you want to close all
communication. Remember that denial and
impaired judgment accompany depression. Depression
can be toxic to relationships; it transforms the people we know and love, making
them nearly unrecognizable. We pull our
hair out in confusion and pray silently that they see themselves as others experience
them.
Unfortunately, persons dealing with depression look through
different lenses then those around them. Yelling
from the mountain top at persons living with depression, that they need help, is
not effective. This will be least
helpful and certain to cause a strain on the relationship.
Furthermore, much like the common cold,
depression can be contagious. Essentially,
living or spending significant time with persons struggling with depression
will likely cause you to become depressed.
Be attentive to your own emotions, changes in daily functioning, and the
status of your significant relationships.
Having a sense of awareness is necessary when supporting someone with
depression. I’ve taken the liberty to compile some indispensable
points about supporting others with depression, based on research and articles
(Bernstein, 2010).
Common ground
- Have you experienced depression? Have you gone through something very difficult that influenced the person you’ve become? Sharing your own vulnerability will reduce the shame associated with depression.
Ask questions
- Gather information about how the person sees himself/herself. Inquire if the person notices any changes in his/her daily functioning (i.e. motivation, hygiene, sleep habits, etc.). Only explore what’s easy for the person to identify.
Suggest
- If the person observes or mentions easily identifiable issues or changes, encourage him/her to see his/her practitioner. General physicians are less intimidating than counselors or psychiatrists.
Support
- If you are available and willing, offer to attend an appointment with the person. Seek support for yourself; learn how to be supportive and avoid compassion fatigue/burnout. Enlist the help of others who care about the person(s) living with depression.
To summarize, depression can be destructive but it's manageable and treatable. If you only take away one critical point from this blog, remember that a meaningful and fulfilling life is achievable while living with depression. I don’t intend to cover the various forms of
treatment, as I always encourage treatment to be sought in-person by medical
professionals. Treatment for depression may include medication-antidepressants, psycho-social supports, physical
activity, modified nutrition plan, and/or psychotherapy (therapy). Depression is not preventable due to genetic predisposition, situational and/or environmental factors which are oftentimes uncontrollable. It’s important to remember that millions of
Americans are living with depression; this disease does not discriminate. If you are living with depression or know
someone living with depression, don’t give up on them or yourself. Remember to seek support when needed, be
vulnerable to reduce shame, and know that you are never alone.
Until next time, live on purpose; life gets better! ℠
Bibliography:
Adaa.org. (2015). Depression | Anxiety and Depression
Association of America, ADAA. Retrieved 14 June 2015, from http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression.
American
Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5). 5th ed. Arlington, VA.
2013.
Bernstein, E. (2015). A Way Out of Depression. WSJ.
Retrieved 12 June 2014, from http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703946504575470040863778372.
Pratt
L. A., and Brody D. J. Depression in the
U.S. Household Population, 2009–2012. NCHS data brief, no 172. Hyattsville,
MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2014. Retrieved
from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db172.pdf. Web 12 June
2015.
Rohde, P., Stice, E., & Gau, J. (2012). Effects of Three Depression Prevention
Intervention on Risk for Depressive Disorder Onset in the Context of Depression
Risk Factors. Society for
Prevention Research, 13(6), 584-593. Doi:10.1007/s11121-012-0284-3.
The Washington Post. (1993). Living with Depression Effective Treatments are Available: Final
Edition. Retrieved 12 September
2014.
Guest Editor: K. E. Bruno
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